11/30/2007

Fun With Rudy:
For big time high-lariousity, check out ABC's Blotter page about how Rudy Giuliani's then-fuckbag Judith Nathan essentially used the NYPD "as her personal taxi service." In the box that says "The Blotter Recommends," there's a list of the following greatest hits for America's Mayor: "Giuliani's Ties to Qatar Raise Questions for Mr. 9/ll" and "Out of Spotlight, Giuliani Embraces Convicted Moneyman" and "Photos: Giuliani and the Priest," which bears explaining, which we get in the next line: "Giuliani Defends, Employs Priest Accused of Molesting Teens."

Over at the toxic waste dump known as Townhall.com, conservative blogger and obese hate purveyor John Hawkins has done a great deal of the work of destroying Giuliani for the Republican base. In his column (if by "column," you mean, "the howling rage against the world for one's inability to get fucked ever, even at 4 a.m. in a Shanghai whorehouse with a hundred Euro bill wrapped around your dick") titled "Rudy Giuliani Would Be Our Bill Clinton," Hawkins goes through all those things that oughta make Clinton-haters beshit themselves fretting: the marriages, the affair, the Kerik, the pro-life, pro-gay, anti-gun stands, the possible child molester buddy. As one of Hawkins' commenters says, "Further, when Clinton was messing around in the White House with Monica (at the very least) we claimed he was reckless and exhibited bad judgment. The way that Rudy handled his second divorce, adultery and 3rd marriage is way beyond anything that Clinton did in the White House."

Over at the New York Daily News, never a Rudy fan, they got former New York mayor Ed Koch and an official from the administration of David Dinkins to say that they never did anything like Giuliani's clever accounting to cover-up his high-balling in the Hamptons. This forced Giuliani's stooge Joe Lhota, who had told the press that the practice of shifting expenses to lesser departments had "gone on for years" and "predates Giuliani," to crawfish into a corner and say, in a tiny, Kerik-sodomized voice, "I should only talk about what I know about."

Man, no wonder the third wife calls Giuliani all the time. Considering the measures he undertook to hide that he was fucking her when she was the other woman, she has every reason to be worried.

The Rude Pundit doesn't give a happy monkey fuck about who Giuliani fucked and when. But here's the thing: he was a dick about it. He was the mid-life crisis bearing motherfucker who said, "Fuck it" to his family and decided to bust a nut when a new piece of ass came along. Hell, the Rude Pundit, in the scheme of things, doesn't have any moral problem with that. But Rudy thought he could do whatever he wanted as mayor, running City Hall like a petty dictatorship, abusing, at least in an unethical way, his office in order to keep his affair a secret. The public has the right to wonder, "Should I have to pay if a President Giuliani wants to hide from his wife the fact that he's giving the high hard one to some new tail?"