In Brief: Dumb Shits Saying Shit That's Dumb (Jeff Sessions Edition)

Sexually-repressed leprechaun Jeff Sessions, the Attorney General of the whole United States, declared today that he'd be dead in the cold, cold ground before he recognized Hawaii : "I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the President of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power."

So a member of the judiciary in an American state is essentially being told he's like a bone-wearing warlord in an atoll off Fiji.

Can someone take one for the team and give Jeff Sessions a blow job? I mean, take that tired old turkey wattle dick and go to town with your mouth. Make that tight-assed racist Beanie Baby call for Jesus before he sees God.

Suck him off to sanity. For patriotism.